Living Proof Live and NaNoWriMo

I'm so excited and nervous! I'm going to be going to a conference in Spokane, Washington called Living Proof Live with Beth Moore tomorrow by myself (sort of). I've never done anything like this by myself before. I always have gone with a group. Josh is actually going up to Spokane as well, for some job training, so we will ride up together and he'll drop me off at the conference and go on to the Spokane Scout office up there. Actually I believe we'll both be going to the head offices up there at first cause he wants to get up there early to check on something with the Scout Shop, so we need to be there during business hours to do that which is well before my conference starts. I'm so jittery, I don't think I'm going to sleep well tonight. Please pray for me. I'm praying that God has something good for me, cause I could sure use the direction, since I'm going to be starting writing a bible study on 1 Corinthians then on Monday. I have no idea what I'm doing and I'm diving in headfirst and blindfolded! Never written anything more than a blog post before in my life, but a friend challenged me to do this with her (she's not writing the same thing, we're just egging each other on) and so I agreed cause I love her dearly and want to support her in her writing as well. She's a fantastic writer. If you look at the blogs I'm following hers is called My First Launch and if you read any of her stuff she's a very different kind of writer than I am. I am serious, she is all about humor, which is wonderful. She's a fellow believer who I have so much respect for and dearly love in the Lord, so I'm helping her out as well as getting motivated myself.

Jeremiah Made Second Class

Well, my son got a bunch of awards I would love to show on here if I had a camera or a way to get my husband's pictures from his iphone on here, but the big thing is he's now a Seond Class rank in Scouting! So proud of him and all his hard work! He's been complaining a bit about the new chore system we've got going and Scouting and homework taking up all of his time and him not having any time to just play with his friends, but all and all he's been a real trooper! And to think he was disappointed when I told him he's already going to have a full plate this year and shouldn't play football! Maybe I should remind him of that and he'll thank me. Wishful thinking, I know.

Happy Born Again Day To Me!

Today has been such a blessing! Bible study was great and the ladies encouraged me so much! Then, I came home and got on Twitter and received more encouragement from a link to Going Beyond Ministries Blog. It was fantastic! Then, my husband reminded me that my spiritual birthday is today. I received Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior on this day 15 years ago! Best decision I have ever or will ever make!

The Lighter Side Of Halloween (sort of)

Okay, I keep meaning to get to the funny part of my conversation about Halloween with my kids. Jeremiah, as you got the hint about yesterday, is a kick in the pants! He could entertain you all day most days. At least on days when he's not doing his preteen crabby pants thing. Really irritates me when he does that. They resort back to whining, or at least mine does. Anyway, when I told him that Halloween celebrates the devil, he said, "No it doesn't. It celebrates sugar rushes!" (Personally, I think that only proves my point!) But he didn't stop there he went on. He said that black represents the color when you mix up all the different types and colors of candy corn together and ghosts represent the white in the candy corn and boy, I can't remember what all he said, but it was quite amusing, but he still didn't get a pumpkin, which is what he wanted me to buy. I wasn't going to spend my money on one. With as little of money as we have, I'm certainly not going to spend it celebrating the devil! I mean, personally, I have no issues with jack-o-lanterns, but I hate making them. It's really messy and time consuming and gross (I hate pulling the guts out). Plus, I just don't want to. I know, so selfish of me. And I feel that I've already spent enough money on this horrible holiday just buying a few costume pieces.

More On Halloween

Okay, I do want you to read and consider my last post and pray about how you celebrate this October 31st! I do dress my kids up. We limit what they can dress up as. No devils, witches or ghosts. Nothing that is evil and scary and glorifies Satan. The only thing even close is Jeremiah told me that what he needs for his costume is just an empty cereal box and a spoon. I was totally confused at first, but then he looked at my confused face and said, "I'm a serial killer," which ought to tell you a lot about his personality and his sense of humor! He's hilarious! I decided since he's really just being funny it was fine! Besides, I like the price of his costume! My daughter, Angela, decided to be a ballerina and Chloe...well, I'm not really sure how to describe Chloe's costume to you. I took a picture of her in her costume the other day, but unfortunately I have no idea where the chord that plugs the camera into the computer is at, so I can put my pictures on here, cause believe me I have a ton you need to see! But she really wanted this pink and black cheetah print cape we saw in Salvation Army, so I decided to buy it for her and then we looked for a pink and black shirt to go with it and we found this black shirt with pink lettering that says, "Blame My Parents." I decided it was perfect, so I bought it to go with. We're still working on the name of her costume. So far some ideas are "Cheetah Girl", "Blame Someone Else Girl", I can't remember what else the girls came up with, but if you have any ideas let me know. "Blame Game Girl" maybe, but she really wants the cheetah part in there, cause she loves cheetahs. So she hasn't liked any of my ideas, because I've focused entirely on the fact that she's blaming her parents for how she is! And of course, I'm sure it is all our fault that she's nuts!

Anyway, now for what we will likely do on the 31st. We'll more than likely go to a local church's harvest celebration. We may go to some of our close friends houses and get candy from them, but other than that we really won't be doing any trick-or-treating. We'll just focus on the fun of dressing up and playing carnival type games and getting candy, of course. So, I really do want you all as believers to really pray about how you celebrate this 31st of October and who you are really giving glory too.

All Hallow's Eve Only Honors Satan

My son and I got into an interesting conversation on the way to the grocery store this afternoon and I'd like to share some of my thoughts on this topic. He complained that I really don't get into Halloween and he said, "Mom why do you dislike Halloween so much?" I told him, "Why would I like a holiday that honors the devil?" Now I know all the supposedly Christian background for All Hallow's Eve, but with all that I've read about it I'd have to say the way that it was celebrated even way back then was not very biblical. There's nothing positive about dressing up in scary costumes to scare the devil away, which is the way my mother explained it. I don't see why the devil would be scared of himself, cause that's really what they're saying. They're dressing up in costumes that represent Satan in order to scare him?! That doesn't make any sense! He's scared of the power of Christ and in dressing up in scary costumes we're saying we somehow have to do more than just claim the power that Christ gave us in His death and resurrection. It really takes the glory away from God and puts it on Satan when you treat it that way. You're playing right into his hands and honoring Satan instead of honoring God. Think about it! Study the bible! See if there is anything biblical about All Hallow's Eve and any of the ways it's been celebrated. Jesus never dressed up in a scary costume to drive out demons. He just used the power that was already His and drove them out! And all we have to do is claim that same power that He has given to us to order demons away from us and our families and others that we love! We do not want to be giving Satan the glory! God is the One that should be receiving the Glory!!!!

This Personality Thing

I've come to the conclusion that I'm not going to worry too much about this whole personality thing. I just don't fit in a box! Other people are going to have to accept that and hopefully accept me just the way I am! I'm going to try to be as genuine as I possibly can (without scaring people half to death) and if people want to judge me, go ahead, just don't talk to me about it and don't try to pretend you're my friend!

Sanguine vs. Melancholy

Okay, Beth Moore is always referring to herself and her grandson as "sanguines". Based on what she described as a sanguine, I thought I was one, too, but when someone suggested this week that my daughter, Chloe, who's much quieter and sweeter than me had a bit of a sanguine personality, I decided to look on dictionary.com and find out what a sanguine really is. According to the definition I got and I'm going on memory here, a sanguine is "optimistically enthusiastic, hopeful or confident". Some synonyms are "enthusiastic, buoyant, animated, lively, spirited." Okay, so my depression disqualifies me, but when I'm feeling good I am VERY enthusiastic! I have to temper it a little bit to keep people from being uncomfortable. That's how enthusiastic I am! My friend is right, though, my daughter Chloe is a sanguine. The only objection I have is "a bit" of a sanguine personality?! HELLO! Are you stinkin' kiddin' me!!!! She's a complete sanguine! I always joked that while with my older daughter the sky is always falling, if the sky really were falling, Chloe would look up and say, "Wow, Mommy! The skies so pretty when it's this close to us!" Now I have one word to describe her, sanguine. She always has a smile on her face. She's almost always happy (we all have our moments. Give her a break.). According to my mom I used to be just like her, however I have "friends" who think my enthusiasm is only covering up who I really am. They think I'm really what they call melancholy. The only time I'm melancholy is when I'm depressed. If I go more than an hour without laughing, my closer friends know to worry, because I'm probably having an episode. And especially if I'm quiet. Chloe's an introvert, so she likes to spend time alone, while I'm a little more of an extrovert. It's really difficult to be an extrovert when most people don't like you, but I am. And it's also really difficult to be an extrovert when people scare you, because they've hurt you so many times! Like my "friend" that basically told me that the only part of my personality that I like is a fraud. He also happens to be the leader of Celebrate Recovery. I'm definitely not making Celebrate Recovery a priority anymore. Most of the time I have nobody there who wants to talk to me anyway. My only really good friend doesn't go, because it's at a really inconvenient time for her and her family. I have another pretty good friend who goes there, but I'll see her other places, like the Hope Center. Anyway, my point about my daughter being an introvert is that it tends to make a little quieter than me. But apparently, I just need to shut up and stop being so excited about life. I'm supposed to be depressed. That's my true personality. Please God, tell me it aint so!

I do remember my mom telling me when I was older that she had to humble me because I had one of those personalities that made me think I was better than other people! Um, I think that would be the confidence thing. I think she overdid it, and melancholy was the result. I do realize that other people who get less excited than I do are sometimes very happy, even though they're just melancholy, but when I'm melancholy I'm depressed, so if that's my true personality, I really don't like myself! I'm sorry, if you really don't like my sanguine side! But that's the only side of me I like!

Jeremiah Home and More Scout Stuff

Yay! My son's home from camp! Unfortunately, as soon as we got home from school and running errands Josh took him away to work at Camp Grizzly and then to sell popcorn. Tomorrow they're going to Trailer Blazer Days....again a Boy Scout thing! What is it with this family and scouting? You'd think we got some sort of a paycheck from them or something?! LOL! Really we loved Scouting before this, that's why me and my husband decided this was a good career move. Definitely a career we can feel good about at the end of the day! Of course, there are the insane and really odd hours, which is why it took a lot of prayer to make this decision. We definitely had to be willing to make some sacrifices to make it work! It had to be His Will and Josh had to have my support or it would never work! I knew that I wanted to support him, but wasn't sure if I was ready to handle the stress of it all yet. Even a year earlier than when he took this job, it would have never worked. I was still too deep in depression to handle things at home when he's not home for days at a time to help. Once even for two weeks! Boy was I happy when he came home! I don't know how military families do it! I don't think they do if they have a family member like me! I should remember this, though, when I get down on myself for still struggling sometimes. Obviously God has done some amazing work in my life! I've got a long ways to go, but I can't think about that or I'll get upset with myself again, for not being perfectly happy all the time!

My Health Woes

I've suspected for years that I might have asthma, but last night (or should I say early this morning) I woke up unable to take a full breath and feeling like someone was sitting on my chest. I'm still holding off on going to the doctor cause with my depression and all the therapy and medications that have come with that and all the allergy medications I alreayd have to take I feel like such a financial drain on my family. I don't dare try to work outside the home, because I'm sure the extra stress would send me over the edge. I think this cold that I had a few weeks ago made things worse. I'm not sure I'll ever be "normal" again. I mean, physically. I really sense that God is healing me emotionally, but it's definitely a process.

Insomnia And A Lack Of Inspiration: Sorry

Oh, my goodness! I am so exhausted! I am definitely suffering from insomnia these days. Even yesterday when I didn't have time to take a nap, I still only got about 4 hours of sleep! I know, I know. For some of you that's plenty of sleep, but obviously it's not for me. I'm imagining I'm a little off partially because I'm in the process of weaning myself off of antidepressants and partially just because I'm me. I wish I had some great and fantastic insight today, but I'm too tired at the moment. Maybe earlier today, but any inspiring moments I had were spent on my bible study group and even then I didn't have much! I'll try to save some for you tomorrow, but since I have Girl Scouts tonight I might be even more spent by tomorrow!

Me On Twitter

I just got a Twitter account. I tried to resist and I was successful to resist this new lovely addiction for about a year, but you know me and technology. I just can't resist. And you also know how much I love Beth Moore. When I found out she was on Twitter, it was too much. I caved!

Jeremiah's All Set To Go

Well, it's really late, so I'll keep this short. We got Jeremiah all packed for Science Camp. I'm really nervous for him, though, having to go away for so long with his classmates. I mean you never know what could happen on a trip like this that you could get teased about for the rest of your life! Probably just me having flashbacks from getting teased myself as a child! I'm sure he'll be just fine!

My In-Laws And Another Sick Day

Today, we all stayed home since Jeremiah is still sick and the girls and I still have bad coughs. Josh decided we should all stay home and get some rest. This afternoon though, he did work on the house some outside. If it doesn't rain he'll be working on painting and putting up trim again tomorrow. Anyone in the area who has nothing to do, we'd love the help if you like to paint. Anyway, Jeremiah will be leaving tomorrow for MOSS, so continue praying that he will heal up quickly or his trip is going to be miserable. And I know, especially as much of a Science Geek as he is that he'll have a great time if he's feeling well! He stayed home yesterday while Josh went to a Cub Scout thing in Genessee and me and the girls went to his brother, Raymond, and sister-in-law, Kaci, and nephew, Danyole's welcome home party. I guess it was sort of a housewarming, too, since we had it at their new house that they just bought! It was loads of fun. All of the family, except for Jeremiah, of course, was there. Plus most of their friends from high school showed up as well. There was lots of good food and fun talks. The kids mostly played with these walking talkies the whole time that grandma (Josh's Mom) had bought at Salvation Army. I love my in-laws! They are so great about doing their best to be accepting of everyone, even though I am so different from most of them, they love me anyway!

OH NO! Jeremiah's Sick!

Now my son is coughing and hacking away! It seems he has the crud, too! Yuck! Totally no fun! And he has to leave for MOSS (McCall Outdoor Science School) on Monday. He'll be gone until Friday. It's required for sixth graders and if he doesn't go with his class we'll have to pay for it, which we can't afford. So he'll be going, sick or not! Please pray that he is healthy by Monday!

New Friends And Old

This blog has kept me in contact and reconnected me with so many old friends! Okay, not that many, but some very special ones, anyway. I had a really great conversation with my old friend, Stacy, just the other night. (She's not old. We've just been friends for a long time.) I'm so glad for new friends in my area that are such a God-send to me, but I don't ever want to forget my wonderful friends from my past either.

Too Many Days Stuck At Home

Well, today the kids have been cleaning house. The girls are not having Girl Scouts tonight. I'm sure they cancelled because of the five day weekend and so many people taking advantage of the opportunity to leave town. Anyway, I'm going to go to prayer meeting tonight since I no longer have that responsibility today. I've been stuck at home since our trip on Saturday!

A Week Of No School For Girls

Well, nothing profound. People in my house are still sick and didn't go to school this week. They only had two days of school this week, so since Angela and Chloe haven't gone the last two days they get a week off. Not a week off of chores I let them know. Angela wants me to tell you that she's flossing. Personally I don't think you care, and this is a strange post on an otherwise very serious blog. Josh is home and has been working on the trim outside and hopefully the weather will hold out, so we can do some more painting before winter hits. I'm amazed it's still warm enough to work outside! My girls are being silly. They're supposed to be cleaning. Josh and Jeremiah are at a Boy Scout meeting.

Sickness Spreading And Continued Travel For Josh

We didn't make it to church today. Chloe woke up with a horrible cough and later on Angela was feeling it, too. So, I guess now, at least the girls are having my cold. I was hoping we could avoid them getting it, but no such luck. I think Chloe will probably be well enough to go to school tomorrow. It didn't seem to slow her down much, but I'm not so sure about Angela. She seems pretty miserable. She doesn't get sick very often, but boy when she does she seems to get it bad! I did talk to Josh today. He didn't have much to say. They were in Nevada. They did talk to our friend, Leonardo, at Jenness Park, but couldn't for very long since he was working. He didn't tell me much. I guess Leonardo doesn't do the computer thing, so no email address. I'm wondering if he at least got a telephone number from him, so we might be able to contact him directly somehow. It sure would be nice. I've been wondering about him all these years, I hate to not get a way to communicate this time around. Oh, well. Men just don't usually think about these things do they. Anyway, that's about all for tonight. Hopefully everyone will be out tomorrow, so I can think of something more profound to share with you tomorrow.

My Daughter The Flight Attendant (And Other Things)

Well, I'm starting to feel better again. At that really annoying stage with the constantly runny nose and sore throat that always seems to go on forever until you get all drained out. Oh, well. It's just part of life, I guess. We took my husband to the airport this morning to fly to California so he could help his brother and sister-in-law move back to Idaho with their little tike, Danyole Ray. One of the cutest little kids in the whole world! Mostly he's helping them by driving part of the way. Angela (our nine year old) talked to him on the phone earlier tonight and seemed to find it a little odd that we put him on an airplane to California just so he could drive back to Idaho! He he! Yes, truly a strange arrangement when you think about it from a child's perspective! I'm sure it will give Raymond and Kaci a lot more rest than they normally would get during the trip back, so it's a good thing that he is going, and I'm sure he's enjoying his time with his brother who he hasn't had much time with in the last few years while Raymond has been in the Navy. He is no longer in the Navy as of yesterday, which is why they are returning to Idaho. All of us who know and love them are excited and anxiously awaiting there arrival in Idaho for a much more permanent length of time than before. We appreciate Raymond's service to this country very much and everyone else in the military we also appreciate, but we are also glad to have him back home where he belongs!

While we were at the airport, the kids, especially Chloe (our 8 year old) were very excited to see daddy's plane take off. It was very surreal, almost like a schene out of a movie, which I'm sure is why he did it, when Josh walked out of the airport onto...I think it's what they call the tarmac?... not really sure about that one, and then walked up the steps into the plane. When he got to the top he stood in the doorway and turned and waved at us. We were on the other side of the fence in the grass watching. The kids were very impatient and wanted to know what was taking so long. I explained to them that they have to check all the workings of the plane to make sure it's safe and all that before they take off every time. It was really fascinating after having flown several times in my life to experience all of this through a child's eyes. Angela and Chloe had never even been that close to a real airplane before. Even seeing the turbines(?) start to spin was very exciting to them! The noises the engines on the plane made were even interesting! They got really excited when they saw it start to turn and head towards the runway! It was heading west and I told them that I thought it would probably turn around and head back towards us before they actually went into the air, based on what I'd seen the other little prop planes at our tiny Moscow-Pullman airport doing. I explained to them that it would be going a lot faster than those planes had been going because they have to build up a lot of speed to get a plane that size up into the air. Like I said, very fascinating through a child's eyes. It's been a while since I've flown so I'd forgotten how long all of this can take. After we lost sight of them heading west, I had started to give up on them coming back towards us so I told the kids we should probably head back home, so we turned around to head back to the car. Just a few seconds later, Jeremiah noticed the loud rubbling which I also noticed and shouted, "Mom, dad's plane!" So we all ran back to the fence and got there just in time for the kids to see the wheels lift off of the ground! They just said, "Whoa!" and "Wow!" That was about all I got out of them for a few seconds. Then they went back to being their crazy selves again. Good thing too! I wouldn't have known what to do with myself for the rest of my life if they hadn't!

Anyway, based on that trip and our conversations about what all happens inside the plane during all of that waiting, my daughter Angela decided that she wants to be a Flight Attendant when she grows up! When she first saw the plane she said she thought she'd like to be a pilot, so I started telling her about what the Flight Attendants do on the plane. I know the idea of travelling is what motivated the thought of being a pilot and knowing her servant's heart I couldn't help but think that a Flight Attendant would be very appealing to her personality! She loves people and she loves to serve them and she loves to experience new things. I think she may have found the perfect occupation for her!