An Update On My Treatment For Depression

Here's another picture from the Boy Scout Court of Honor. Now, I know you all are wondering how things are going since my major emotional crash, which is really the best way I can describe it right now. I know it is quite inadequate, but the best I can do with my limited understanding right now. I'm doing quite well, considering where I was. I'm seeing a really wonderful lady who's offered to counsel me in my home once a week. She's still in training as a counselor, but I can already tell definitely has the gift and a deep desire to see people experience healing in Christ. She's been a great help in redirecting my mind and I really appreciate that, and she listens, which is definitely an element I was missing with Pastor Kim. She allows me to work through things, with the understanding that I need to work through some of the hurt and anger before I can get to a place where I can completely and fully forgive. Some things are so painful that just forgiving right away is not that simple. I'd like to, but I need time to process things. Sometimes I need time to process things to even realize that I need to forgive someone that maybe I didn't even realize fully that I hadn't forgiven them for. I have people in my life that have done so many things to hurt me, that I'll think I've forgiven them and I may have for some or most of the things they have done to hurt me, but then there might just be that one thing that I've been avoiding even talking about or was so buried underneath the other stuff that it didn't pop up until I'd dealt with the stuff that was more prominent in my mind at the time. So I didn't even realize it was there. I don't even know if that makes sense, but that's kind of where I'm at right now. Sorting through what issues need to still be processed some I guess.

Also, I saw my doctor this week, where my hubby and I got a mini-lecture on not calling her earlier. We already had the appointment for this week and never called her when I became suicidal. We figured we'd discuss it when we came in. She said she would have appreciated a phone call sooner. She says she understands that a lot of phone calls were made to a lot of people and that for future reference she needs to be part of that loop. She's absolutely right. She does need to be and next time we'll make sure she's contacted. Anyway, she doubled my antidepressants. I've been taking the double dose now for a few days. It's making me a bit drowsy. Of course, I don't think that's the only reason I'm drowsy. The kids had two evening activities at school this week, the last one being earlier this evening. Also, tomorrow morning (or I should say this morning!) my son has baseball tryouts. My husband is out of town, so I'm going to have to take my son myself. I'm not even sure what time his tryout is scheduled for, so I'm going to have to just take him at 8 tomorrow morning and try and find out. Ugh! Which means, I really need to go to bed!