The STRONGEST Strong-Willed Child

Have you ever had one of those days that you realize you've repeated a zillion times in the past with the same child and all your doing is going in circles with that child and you're so totally done you don't know what to do? Yeah! This has been one of those days. The Angela drama continues. I'm telling you this child misbehaves, complains that we punish her, whines and cries about it...LOUDLY!!!!!! and there's nothing you can do to stop her! She gives me a headache, makes me want to do things I won't talk about for fear I'll get in trouble for just thinking them!! I seriously was trying to figure out (in my head, anyway), how I was going to be able to send her to military school or boarding school or whatever those places are you hear about that parents who can't stand their children send them to! Or are just super rich and really busy and don't have time to bother! Or their kids are really smart, etc. etc. etc. ...you know the place I'm talking about. I don't even know if they actually exist. I just know I want to send this daughter whose name didn't work out so well for me to one of those places.

The current problem? Well, she's not passing some of her classes, largely because they're harder classes for her and she doesn't want to do the hard work of doing the assignments that don't come easy to her. She manipulates me into doing them for her. She won't listen to my attempts of just helping her and gets me to do it for her. So I've quit "helping" and told her she has to figure it out herself, so what did she do? Quit doing her homework, so she's failing. Then, she got mad cause we took some priviledges away. We informed her that's what happens when you don't take care of your responsibilities. Jeremiah got taken off the baseball team when his grades were bad, we take away her theatre stuff when she misbehaves, cause his thing is sports and hers is theatre. Yes, we've told her this a zillion times as well. Apparently, the rules shouldn't apply to her. Hmmmm. At this point I'm not caring. I was tired of hearing her whine and cry for HOURS so I said, "Fine, play on the Wii. I don't really care." That's it. I'm just done caring. Last weekend when I wouldn't make her the food she wanted at the time she wanted it she threatened to go to the neighbors and ask them to feed her telling them that her parents don't feed her. Some of you may recall we had an issue with this same child shouting out the window on the way home from school when she was punished, that we beat her, and then she tried to run away when I stopped at the gas station to get gas. I don't know if I brought that up on here or not, but yes, the issue of accusing us of abuse or neglect because she didn't get what she wanted has happened much in recent years. I fear much of this is my fault, since as a very depressive mother who tires easily I tend to give in way too often! Especially when she was a toddler. Not only am I a depressive, but I found myself pregnant with our third child when she was just over a year old and her brother was 3, so yes, you could say I was E-X-H-A-U-S-T-E-D while pregnant with a toddler and a preschooler. I pretty much let them do whatever they wanted in the house as long as they were safe. When I did have the strength and energy to discipline her I swear I felt like I nearly beat her half to death, I had to spank her so many times in a row, because STRONG-WILLED is an UNDERSTATEMENT with this child! She first openly and obviously defied me when she was only 9 months old!!!! I know they say that is developmentally impossible, but trust me when I tell you I KNOW what I saw in her eyes as open defiance. She first reached for something that I said no to which she quickly pulled her hand back indicating that she clearly understood the word no (we had slapped her hand while saying no to her many times and she's not stupid. She figured out what that word meant pretty quickly!). After that she looked at me, made sure I saw her and with that defiant look on her face she reached for it again. I don't remember what "it" was, but that's not the point! I knew I had quite a battle ahead of me with this child! Her brother did the same sort of thing at the same age, but he proved not to have nearly the perseverance of this girl!!! Oh, my! You have NEVER met a child who could throw a fit longer or harder than Angela Paparazzo!!!! I would almost be impressed if I wasn't the one left with the tasking of raising her! I laugh when I hear people say things about their toddler like, "Can you believe he threw a temper tantrum for 20 minutes!" Please!!!! That was a good day! Try an hour and a half!!!! I kid you not! I had a friend who came over at naptime when she was clearly tired and needed a nap, despite the fact that she didn't want to. I finally put her in her room, shut the door and told her to stay or else and she screamed and kicked the wall for an hour and a half before she finally fell asleep!!! This easily depressed mama didn't always have enough stamina to deal with that, so, yes, she often got what she wanted! I don't know how a child is just born like that, but I swear she was!! When she was three and four years old when I got up and was preparing to fix breakfast, I would sometimes ask the kids what they would like for breakfast, and if it was reasonable (like not candy bars) and we had it, sometimes I'd make it, other times I just made whatever I decided to make, like a normal mom (or I think that's what normal moms do. I have no idea. I've never been one or known one:)). Anyway, even if it was a breakfast she had chosen herself, once it was done, she inevitably would want something else instead and I would say, "No, you are going to eat what I made you." She would say "NO!" and I would basically tell her to sit her hiney down in her chair and eat what I made her or starve! She would put her hands on her hips, look up at me very defiantly and say, "You're not my boss!" I promise you I proved I was! But this was what we went through every morning for about two years. Once, getting curious, I decided to ask her if I wasn't her boss who was, and she said very matter of factly, "I'm my own boss!" She was four at the time. Oh, boy! Yep! I had me a tough one and I am at the end of my rope!

I do have to tell you when she told me she was going to tell the neighbors we don't feed her, I first said, "Go ahead. Have fun with that." I really didn't care. I knew if she did it would never come to anything. We've been through the CPS crap before with a neighbor that doesn't really like us. Besides, I also knew that deep down, she knows how the system works. If they did actually think there was something to it, they'd take her away, and she doesn't want to be taken away. She adores her daddy and loves shopping (mostly) with me. She wouldn't know what to do without us and I wonder if she actually knows that she wouldn't get what she wanted in "the system" either? I mean she's been to other people's houses and seen other kids get punished, so I think she's old enough and smart enough to figure out that all moms and dads have rules and some sort of discipline they adhere to. Granted she hasn't been in the most stable of homes with a mom who suffers from severe depression and anxiety and used to drink way too much off and on, but she's never been abused or neglected. She's always gotten at least 3 meals a day, sometimes with snacks in-between, so she's very strong and healthy. She's just extremely strong-willed and still, at 11 years old hasn't figured out that the world doesn't revolve around her! I'm exhausted. I have a headache, and I seriously do not know what I'm going to do with this child. Hopefully, I don't get any anti-spanking commenters on here. I've been through that all before. I don't agree and it's not illegal to spank your children in this state, so BACK OFF! Oh, and I'd LOOOOOOVE to see how anyone could raise this one without spanking!!!I promise. I've tried everything I know short of abuse or neglect!!!

Chloe's Been Baptized!

Well, it's late and I haven't downloaded any new pictures onto my laptop yet. Plus, the camera's dead, so I'm pretty sure I can't until I charge it up!

But, I thought I'd let you know, it is now official! All of the Paparazzo children have been baptized! Chloe was baptized this morning! I will hopefully be able to get my hands on the video and figure out how to put those on here. Since my camera died before it was her turn, the video's on my hubby's iPhone! It's a little late to be figuring that out right now!

So, one parenting goal accomplished. Now for the other 5 million!!! Wish me luck.....or better yet, pray!!! Please!!!

The Last Of The Ball Pit Pictures And A Few Misc. Things

Okay, all the girls wanted me to take their pictures coming out of the slide, and they all have such funny expressions on their faces, except for Christina (from my last post) who seemed to be practically posing. Of course, in general, I am struck by how different Christina is from her cousin, and my daughter's best friend, Riley, who is behind Angela in this picture. Riley is amazingly similar to Angela. They're both tomboys who love to wrestle, have punching contests (just like boys!) and yet they also like fashion, too! They are such an odd combination of tomboy and girly girl! It's quite strange raising Angela, and, as you know, frustrating at times! At a LOT of times, but back to the differences between the two cousins. While Riley is very tomboy, Christina shows up to play in the ball pit in a dress and with her hair all done up!! So funny! Only God would make relatives so different from each other! We'd make them just like us, and that would be so boring!
Of course, Chloe is very much like me (without the fear, which makes it so much more fun.) and I most definitely would not call her boring! She just loves life and wants to try everything! I just really hope she doesn't have the horrid experiences I have had to kill that in her! I love it, and it helps me with my issues believe it or not! It's such a joy to see life from her perspective. When she turned out to have learning issues (that I suspect I myself also have, but were never discovered) and she had to take special classes, she said that she was lucky, because she has more teachers than any of the other kids! What a marvelous way to look at it!

Of course, then there are the very odd and out of place things kids sometimes say. Like they're in a completely different conversation inside their heads. Sometimes I wonder why I talk to them at all! They have such marvelous conversations inside their heads while I'm talking, I'm thinking. I was talking to Chloe the other day about her memorizing her songs for the school production, and she said she was sure she'd memorize them as quickly as she did her lines, and asked me how long I thought it took her to memorize her lines. I told her I didn't know, and she told me it took her two days. I told her, I know you memorize things quickly. "It took you two days too memorize the bible verses I had been working on for over a week! And I read them more times a day than you did!" I proceeded to tell her how her mind is like a sponge at her age, and she chimes in with, "Yeah, like scabs." .....What in the world?? Where did that come from??? LOL

Our Neighbor And Me At The End Of My Rope!

This is our neighbor, Christina. This is the best picture I've got of her. She's really cute! I have to admit, I am having a rather hard day today. I'm at the end of my rope when it comes to my daughter, Angela. I love her, dearly, you know I do, but every time I do something for her she doesn't like something about it. And when she doesn't get what she wants she screams her head off. We're about to give up on her, and just let her do what she wants. Of course, we can't actually give her everyTHING she wants! I'm not sure Bill Gates could afford to do that, but provided it doesn't cost much, she's getting what she wants. If what she wants are parents who don't care, she's about to find out what that's like!