Random Babbling From Shellie

Wow! Three weeks!!!! Seriously! No wonder I've been posting ridiculously long comments on other people's blogs!!!! I've been basically writing blog posts of my own on...well....okay, Beth Moore's blog, since her's is the only one I go directly, too, without going to my blogger account first! Ha! Anyway, I had to laugh as I read some of my previous posts to catch myself up on what I had written (now that is when you KNOW it's been too long!) Anyway, yes, clearly the writer in me is STARVING!!! I might as well, except it, I'm a writer to the core of my being whether I ever choose to publish anything or not!! I just love to write, and I love the much more safe interaction of all of you not being in front of me. And my nerves just don't get in the way as much when I'm writing as when I'm with people in person. I seriously have full on anxiety attacks when I'm with others and they want to know about my personal life and my relationship with God (which is VERY personal!). You just usually can't tell because I'm very good at hiding it. Probably a skill I learned through years of public speaking growing up, which scares me to death by the way, even though people always told me I always looked so confident, especially with a microphone in my hand! Ha! If they could only look closer and see the racing heart and sweaty hands and feeling like I can't breathe. Okay, that one is new. It feels a little like an elephant is sitting on my chest and it happens regularly now!!! Yes, my chest gets very tight! I break out in a cold sweat! It's awful!

Okay, back to what I was saying about laughing (told you, highly unorganized). I'm laughing because of how much it shows how upset I get when I can't see what God is doing! I was talking about living here until my kids graduate!!! Ha! We're out of here next month! I kid you not! My husband got offered a promotion and he accepted! I never thought he'd accept a promotion until the kids were all out of school! But he did! Mostly because he started realizing, more and more, that I need HELP! And it's not going to happen as long as I live here! We're moving to Spokane, Washington, which was where the closest counselors I could find are! I was a little disappointed, because I'd finally convinced my husband to go to Real Life and now we're leaving, but they have to church plants in Spokane! And, honestly, if they didn't, I think we'd be willing to drive to Post Falls to be around loving, forgiving, gracious people who truly care! The original Real Life Ministries is in Post Falls. I'm pretty sure that's the original. I know it's the one I first knew about! I've wanted to be a part of Real Life ever since I first heard about them! They seemed like everything a church should be according to the Word of God! (Whoa! What a concept!) and when I first heard that they were coming to Moscow I was ecstatic! Just took me this long to convince my husband that's the place to be! As I understand it, they're all basically the same as far as the attitudes and hearts of the people. I'm sure they do different things depending on the needs of the people where they're at. Anyway, Jeremiah and the pastor's s0n, Caleb, between church, youth group, and school, even being on the same sports teams, have become the best of friends....and now we're moving! Thank God for facebook! That's all I have to say. And Caleb pointed out on Sunday, that Spokane's not THAT far away! It's not like they won't be up there and we won't be back here every now and again. They'll most likely still be able to see each other once in awhile other than on facebook. We do still have family in the area after all, and I'm sure we can squeeze in some friend time in all the family craziness during holidays and vacations. It will help us keep our sanity anyway, cause as much as we love family, too much time spent with ANYONE can drive you a little crazy after a while, right?! Much needed escapes are good for all involved, so we don't end up hating each other and never speaking again! Josh and I came up with a good rule of thumb. No more than 3 days spent at any relatives house. After the third day, we've observed, everybody (not just us) gets a little cranky with each other! It's a little different with friends I would imagine. You don't know each other in the same way, so you can't get in each other's business quite as painfully, plus you pick your friends based on what you like, you don't pick your family, so you get all kinds of personality conflicts mixed up in there! If you have a personality conflict with a friend, generally speaking, you just don't end up being good friends who hang out much. You don't have that option with family. So, anyway, this is a totally random post, and I think I've made the decision that I'm going to do a little more editting on here from now on, although that will mean fewer posts. Obviously, this post is the exception, being the one I'm telling you this on. It still won't be a lot of editting and it will be mostly based on my mood. If I'm in a fairly positive mood, I'll probably just go ahead and post what I wrote without editting, because there's probably not anything in there that I will regret posting later. Or at least, a little bit. Rarely do I regret it enough to delete it. Anyway, mostly when I'm feeling negative, and that doesn't mean there won't ever be anything negative on here, since depression and anxiety are huge issues in my life, but probably a little toned down and saved to be editted later, so by the time it gets to your eyes it will be more of an explanation of the frame of mind I was in than a barrage of my emotional baggage (I think that's the word I'm looking for.) Anyway, it's like only an hour until lunch time and I haven't even had breakfast yet! So.....I'm out!!!!