Just so you all know I am also seeing a professional Christian Counselor, who I am seeing today! I really love living in Spokane and cannot wait until I have time and have the money to go to some of the great Christian conferences and CONCERTS they have here! I was born to live in the city, I swear it!!! Why I was born to a farm family I will never know, but I love all the PEOPLE in the city! Not to mention the malls, and little shops, and thrift stores, galore! I swear Spokane has more thrift stores than I've ever seen in my life!! Not that I've been able to take advantage of it much. Moving and all the extra expenses of living here have left us with so little money, I haven't even been able to shop at thrift stores!!! Yikes!!! That, and, of course, for a time Josh took away my debit card. I also didn't have a checkbook or cash or anything. I mean, I could have gone to the bank to get money, but I would have really had to go out of my way to defy him to do that. He did that to keep a roof over our heads instead of letting me drink us out of a home!!!! Anyway, I'm looking forward to the shopping when we have some money for such nonsense! We're spending the money for counseling even though we don't have it. They've given us a great deal, but it's still hard. ANY amount of money would be hard at this point, but they can't afford to see me for free. I'm grateful for it anyway, and AM NOT going to throw it all away again with another drink...or 10...or 20...or 50,,,or....You get the idea. Anyway, hope you all have a great Monday!!!
And obviously I've had my coffee since earlier :)
Love,
Shellie
I know about the financial pinch and finding a Christian counseling place that has a sliding fee. I can only afford to go every other week and sometimes not even that! I think gratitude is key in keeping balance on the healing journey. It is too easy to be self focused and looking at the gifts God has given me helps me to get outside myself and give of myself.
ReplyDelete:) unfortunately she won't see me anymore, understandably until I've proven my sobriety. Or...well, she had said until I go it treatment, but that's not happening. I find the "Christian" recovery programs hear to be harsh & unloving environments, so I refuse to go to the only recovery place that will take me for free. For 2 reasons. One it is strictly 18 months inpatient! No exceptions! & 2 it only teaches Celebrate Recovery, no AA, which I've come to distaste. I hate CR & think that it is a result of the spiritual arrogance Bill W talked abt at the end of his life, wishing he had preached a lot less, giving more alcoholics a chance to form there own unpressured relationship with God & giving more alcoholics a chance to recover rather than running them off by forcing them to have the same relationship he had. Honestly even within Christianity there are as many different ways of relating to God & working thru our issues as there are ppl! Who's to say one way is right or wrong or when it's ok for someone to change their life in different areas. That's not up to us & churches all do it. I now go to church merely as a formality. My true fellowship is in AA, as they are the only ppl who fellowship in the way of freedom of expression & on a daily basis as God intended from the beginning. They meet daily as the disciples did & truly live life together. It's taking me a while to get into th living life together with them, as my trust issues get in the way, but I have a better chance with them than with the extremely judgmental church crowd with CR churches being the worst of all!
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