Bullies

I'm so excited. I have my first follower! Thank you, wholarmor! I know your real name, but just to keep you as anonymous as possible I'll call you by your screen name on here. By the way, that is a way cool screen name.

On another note, I think I'll talk about bullies. I don't know if the rest of your children deal with bullies at school, but my son does. In fact, he's asked me a couple of times if he could transfer to another school. I'm trying really hard to teach him that running away from your problems is not the answer. Besides, he'll just run into the same kind of kids at another school. They tease him because he's nearsighted and wears glasses, of course. That one's as old as time itself! They also tease him because he's a "nerd". His words, not mine. I don't think he's a nerd. I think he's a really cool kid, but he does really like science and history. I mean he studies these things and watches the discovery channel and the science channel for fun, so okay maybe he is a bit of a nerd. But hey, the nerds end up being the most successful people. I told him to ignore them, because someday they're going to be sorry, because while they're struggling just to make ends meet in some dead end job, he's going to be making a ton of money as an engineer or something solving some of our world's biggest problems and all the women are going to be crazy about him. Well, I didn't tell him the part about the women, but you know, the rest of it. I just thought of it as a growing experience until today. Today, they broke his glasses at the bus stop. Those things are expensive! Luckily, they only broke the frames and they're still under warranty, but that's not the point. That kind of distructive behavior I have a real problem with. We're going to be talking to the parents and teachers of these kids. Just telling Jeremiah to buck up and get over it isn't good enough anymore. These kids need to be dealt with. I'm wondering if any of you have had similar problems with bullies and how you handled it.

depression

I've been really depressed this week. I know I haven't mentioned this before, but years ago I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder and have had to take medications for years. Many people think that I shouldn't share that which has always bugged me, because to me if tells me that it's something I need to be ashamed of. I refuse to be ashamed of it. At least on most days. I've spent enough of my life being ashamed and believe me I have enough junk already that I should be ashamed of. I don't need to add things to the list that are not my fault.

Also, some people think that all antidepressants do is mask the real problems. Oh, I wish that were true. I don't think it would be possible to put me on enough medications to do that. It would be nice if nothing ever had to hurt, but I do feel things A LOT! Stuff hurts me just like it does anybody else. And without going into detail since this is a public blog and I wouldn't want just anybody to know the details of my life, I've had a really bad week.

Finally able to go to bible study again

Cause of sicknesses and vacation and what-not I have not been to bible study for a long time. I am so happy to be getting ready to go this morning, which I now need to do or I'm going to be late.

More Scripture memorization

Well, I'm still doing really well with memorizing scripture this year. I now have 2 individual verses (well, one of them really contains 2 verses) memorized, plus an 8 verse chapter memorized so far this year. I'm doing it through the LPM blog. It's been great. I've never had non-judgmental, no undue stress avenue of having enough accountability to be able to memorize scripture before. I've known for a few years while I've been in recovery that if I could commit some scripture to memory it would probably help me a lot. But I've always struggle with any kind of memorization. I never learned my multiplication tables, any of the political speeches we were supposed to memorize in school or anything. Not just scripture. I can't even memorize most songs, which is why, even though people tell me I have a beautiful voice, I haven't done much in the way of music. Singers are pretty much expected to memorize the words and music. You don't exactly see people on stage with music stands except at church or in a symphony. Not exactly the kind of music I'd like to do. I'm a rock and roll girl! Anyway, this time I asked God to help me to be able to memorize and I've been pretty successful so far. I don't know how well I'd do if you completely took my notecards away from me and I had to say them. Not that I look at the notecards while I'm saying them, but I definitely seem to remember them better when I'm holding them in my hand. So maybe I'm not doing as well as I think I am, but I'm trying and God's giving me some success. Sometimes I get the chapter I memorized a little mixed up. I've asked God to help me memorize before and still haven't been able to. When I was seeing a counselor a couple of years back she suggested that maybe my mind was so filled with so much negative stuff that there wasn't any room for me to learn anything. So I'm thinking maybe now after a year of counseling and 3 years of recovery programs that I've gotten rid of enough of the negative stuff in my head that now I can actually learn some good stuff, like God's Word! Wouldn't that be nice for a change!

concert

Okay, so Saturday night I went to a Christian concert! It's been years since I've been able to do that. It only cost 10 dollars! And, no, they were not small-time bands. It was Addison Road and Tenth Avenue North opening and then Hawk Nelson, Jeremy Camp, and Mercy Me! Big time bands. Of course they passed around donation buckets and sold their CD's and t-shirts and stuff. Plus, they were really pushing for Compassion International, for people to adopt a child. I really do want to do that some day, but we're just too unstable financially to commit to 32 dollars a month right now. I did by 3 CD's. Mercy Me was selling theirs for only 5 dollars and the rest were ten. So I bought Addison Road, Mercy Me's greatest hits, and Hawk Nelson...Is Your Friend or something like that. It had a title like that. Also with the Mercy Me CD there was a second disc that was a DVD with like 11 music videos on it, plus a bonus feature on the story behind their hit song, I Can Only Imagine. Both of those discs together for only 5 dollars! It was awesome! And still I spent less money than you would typically pay just to see Mercy Me in concert! I'd never heard Tenth Avenue North, but apparently my children had, cause the next day when I told them which bands were there that was the one I was having trouble remembering who they were and when I finally remembered and blurted it out, Jeremiah and Angela dived at me excitedly and shouted, "Tenth Avenue North!" They're insisted that if they ever come back that I have to take them. I guess all the bands want to come back next year and do this again. So, if they do, I suppose I'll have to take Jeremiah and Angela with me this time. When the lead singer for Mercy Me announced Tenth Avenue North (he announced all the bands) he did say he's convinced these guys are the future of Christian music. If my children are any indication they're probably right. My kids friends don't really listen to Christian music, so I was a little surprised, pleasantly so, that they knew who they were. Anyway, I had a blast and have been enjoying my new music!

I'm so happy. The blogs I'm following are back on my following list. I know someone read my blog finally. No official followers yet, but at least I know someone read it. Thank you, Sonia. I
would still do this even if no one read it, just because I love doing it. It's a wonderful release for me. Of what I'm not sure, but I like it. But it is nice to know someone has read it.

blog following

I'm not very happy. I signed up to follow 2 different blogs and now my account says I'm not following any blogs.