Monday, May 27, 2013
Still On The Road To Recovery
Hi there! No, I have not fallen off the face of the earth! Far from it! I now have close to 6 months sober and have done it all without the help of the church! (Gasp! How dare I suggest they don't have all the answers!!!!) In fact, I have recently quit going to church at all. My meetings are my church! Unbiblical you say? Really? Let's look at the record. Without even looking I know the verse you're going to quote. It's the one that says to not quit meeting together as some are in the habit of doing. I'm not. In fact, I meet with other believers every single day, not just a couple of times a week. We go there for fellowship, which I get in my meetings. We go there to serve God, which I also do in my recovery groups. I chair meetings, occasionally help with coffee and many other little things like turning off lights and locking doors. Also, I reach out to newcomers and listen to others who just need someone to talk to. I take time out of my day to go places with friends in recovery who just want to be with a friend. That sounds like service to God to me. And that's in addition to continuing to raise a family. Phew! No wonder, I find so little time to blog...and facebook and tweet, etc., etc. I often find myself in conversations with people outside of meetings about the bible. One even mentioned to me the other day that he thought of me as he was reading John chapter 4, cause I had mentioned it's one of my favorite stories in the bible. Go ahead and look it up! I dare you! It's the woman at the well for those who are familiar. Who else, but Jesus, could tell a sinner everything she ever did and leave her completely unashamed?! I've never met one. If you have, let me know, cause only Jesus has ever done that for me. The cops sure didn't. The school didn't when I'd get in trouble and neither did the church. Only Jesus Himself could point out the truth to me and leave me unashamed. Sometimes someone else had to point out my faults to me before I could see them, but I always felt that overwhelming shame when it was brought to my attention. Only when I then brought it to Jesus, could I lose the shame I felt. If you don't know what I'm talking about, you either need to read it again or for the first time! And if you've never experienced the way Jesus can bring your failures to the light and still leave you feeling completely unashamed just ask Him to show Himself to you and hang onto your seat, cause if you're sincere, He WILL show up! I guarantee it! And yes, I do have people in my life who point out my faults. I do have accountability. And really, that's a choice each and every individual has to make for themselves, in or out of church. If you don't want to allow people to get close enough to you to really know you well enough to know when you're off track, you're not going to! Only person who can make that decision for you is YOU! I have what we call, in 12 step programs, a sponsor, which is sort of like a mentor, only her main job is to lead me through the 12 steps, which if you don't know those, you can look them up online, too, I'm sure. They are the greatest way I have ever found to learn to trust God and clean house! That's the process I am in right now and it's not easy. I have completed my 4th step, but have yet to complete my 5th. I have not been real good at staying in touch with my sponsor the last couple of weeks, I must confess. There are a couple of reasons for that. I have gotten a little distracted from my program, but not my fellowship and service work, thankfully. Those reasons are a little too personal to share with you right now, but my closest friends in my recovery groups know where I am and what's going on. I just wanted to check in with all of you and let you know a little of where I'm at. I'm going to quote another friend, because I just can't think of better words, "Thanks for tolerating me while I grow up."