Updates And Last Week Here!

Okay, y'all! It's late, but I wanted to say hi and just update you on a couple of details. We went to my son's final wrestling tournament of the year. The most important one. The one everybody in their conference, league, or whatever they call it wrestles against each other in their individual weight classes to see who the best wrestler's in each weight class are. Well, without too much fanfair (although I'm sure he would love some) my son, Jeremiah, beat everyone in his weight class (or at least beat those who'd beat others) and got 1st place, a golden trophy (yes, a trophy) and just the awesome feeling of being the best 120 lb junior high wrestler in our area! Yay, Jeremiah! He's totally hooked and his former wrestler daddy is pleasantly surprised, actually thrilled would be more like it! This is the first year he's shown any interest in wrestling. Josh and I agreed when we first got married, that even though we were both college athletes and obviously had had dreams of cheering our own children on in the sports we love, we would not push our children in any particular direction where extracurricular activities are concerned. We did mention to him several times, casually, when he was little, that Moscow has a pee wee wrestling club. Josh would have had him on the mat at 5 years old if he'd seemed at all interested. He was much more interesting in sports where you kicked, hit, or carried a ball in some way. Football, soccer, and of course, baseball! Many of you know my sports were Cross-Country and Track, which are basically the same thing, since all I ever did was run long distance. Okay, I tried the shorter distances as a junior high student, but I sucked as a sprinter! And that is an understatement, trust me!!! I'm of the impression, personally, that anyone who has the heart for it, can be successful as a runner. Obviously, some with certain body types will be more successful than others, but successful none-the-less. In other words, you might not take home trophies, but you won't be dead last either. I was usually somewhere in the average range, middle of the pack, when it came to running, though, I got better and won a few awards as time went on. I often wonder how far I could've gone if I hadn't let the loser I was dating before Josh talk me into quitting, but looking back does no good where that sort of thing is concerned. I made the choices I've made and I have 3 adorable children and an adorable husband to show for it, so I'd say I've done okay. I may not be the skinny little runner I used to be, but at least I can raise my children well. I must admit moving to Spokane has got me thinking about Bloomsday, which I always wanted to run in. I'm totally out of shape at the moment, but maybe I'll walk in it this year and then if that doesn't get me wanting to run again, I don't know what will! I love competition. I love having others to pace myself against! I love the crowds and the cheering and just all of it! I miss that and I think getting myself in that environment might just get me interested in running again, at least to get myself healthier. I'm not doing a very good job of taking care of God's temple as I did back then, when I didn't even think of it as God's temple! You know, except for the alcohol, marijuana, and cigarettes! Those obviously weren't good for me! I was pretty good about staying off of that stuff during track and cross-country season, though, cause I was very focused during those times. My son is planning to go out for track at his new school, just like he was planning to do here this year as well. This will be his fourth sport this year. His health teacher, after checking his vitals, dubbed him a "sports addict" and an "elite athlete." I guess he has the resting heart rate of an elite athlete! The "sports addict" thing is kind of obvious! How many kids do you know who play 4 sports a year, are obsessed with football and baseball stats and win championships there first year wrestling? Yeah, that's what I thought! Not many! My son's a stud! It'll be interesting to see what the girl's will do. So far, Chloe wants to be a cheerleader and possibly a runner. That's going to be the girl after my own heart, I'm telling you! Then, there's Angela! All she mostly wants to do is act and sing! She's my little performer. The others are somewhat interested in that themselves, but not as much as she is. She is obsessed. She didn't get a part in the Missoula Children's Theatre production (which would have made this last Saturday insane, but we'd have figured it out! We've done it before! Three kids running in three different directions. We knew this would eventually happen when we decided to let our kids pursue their own interests instead of pushing them to do what we like to do.) and even Jeremiah said at lunch on Sunday after Angela saying that even the girls that did the auditions said this was their first year in professional theatre that it was "obviously a rookie mistake, not giving my sister a part." Yep, even Jeremiah admitted after last year that Angela's an acting genius! The girl loves the stage and the stage loves her, I'm telling you! We're actually thinking about getting her to the tryouts in Spokane that are happening right after we get there, so she'll have another shot at the Missoula Children's Theatre, plus they have year-round acting groups up there, so we'll definitely get her doing a lot more performance type things. That's what she loves, so that's what we're going to help her do. She would also love to play hockey, but that gets a little too crazy for our time and budget. I've heard much about many opportunities to be in the theatre at little or no cost in Spokane. It'll be exciting to see what God has in store for us up there!

Josh headed to Spokane tonight where he's going to camp out in our house that we're renting and get on a plane tomorrow morning to fly to Tucson, Arizona with some other scouters. There's going to be a conference and a lot of golf playing going on! He deserves it! It's good that he's getting some time to relax before the big move, even if it happens to be while I'm having to finish cleaning and packing without him! I'll get my chance this summer while the kids are all at camp with Josh! I know I'll be spending at least a week or two at home by myself, so it'll all work out. We'll each get our time of rest and relaxation, which is going to be much needed after this crazy year! I'm looking forward to it, but right now I need to get some sleep! I've got to get the Champion and his sisters up tomorrow morning for school by myself :)

My Own Personal "Shack" Part 16

Well, last night, after posting about my "daddy" I went to bed and bawled over how much I miss him! My life was pretty crazy at the time that I lost him to cancer, I believe it was Thanksgiving Day 2006, so I really didn't get any time alone to really mourn his passing. I was extremely heartbroken over the whole thing and even more so, because I hadn't seen him in years. You see, after we were married, my husband and I were a little overwhelmed by married life, I think, and I in particular had gotten worse in my depression (not because my husband didn't treat me right, I assure you!) and we didn't really stay in contact with the people we knew in Coeur d'Alene. We decided it was time to move on, so we didn't really contact them for a very long time. This was before the days of facebook and twitter and blogs and even before we had our own PC at home to email people. In fact, I don't know about Josh, but it was the first time I had really embraced the whole internet thing and started using my email account at school. (Wow, things have changed in a relatively short amount of time!) In fact, I'm not sure that embrace is really the right word. I more like surrendered, because sooo many people were telling me, "email me," or "did you get my email?" so I surrendered and started checking it to see these much needed emails people were sending me on this email account they gave me when I registered at UofI, that I had no intention of using. (I know this is amusing to many of you who know how much I love technology now!)

Anyway, I'm way off track, darn ADD brain. We didn't talk to our friends in Coeur d'Alene for many years. Than we were there to enjoy some fireworks at one point, because my dad had moved there and we thought Coeur d'Alene might be fun for the Fourth of July! (Don't do it if you have young children. The fights and profanity in the parking lot are so not worth it!) It was fun, other than the parking lot scene....which was very entertaining at first, as well....until the kids got old enough to repeat the wonderful words that they heard! But at this time we bumped into a few people that we knew from when we were dating and engaged to be married. (That is usually why you get engaged! Did you ever wonder why people have to add "to be married" to that statement?) We found out that people had been asking about us, and me in particular, wondering how we were doing, so we reconnected with some of them, particularly our former pastor and his wife, another man that Josh knew from even before Coeur d'Alene, and Dave (or as you know him, "daddy.") I didn't actually get to see him that day, but I did talk to him on the phone. Actually, the last time I saw him in person, was on my wedding day. (How sad is that?) If I remember correctly he basically threatened my new husband within an inch of his life if he didn't treat me properly. Yes, I think he most definitely treated me like a daughter, or at least how I would imagine, a real dad, who really does love his daughter as he should, would treat his daughter. I wouldn't really know much about that. I'm glad I got to experience if for at least a short period of time through Dave. After that, we again, got very busy with our life in Moscow, and didn't contact anyone for a long time. When we did, we found out that Dave and his family had moved to Texas and that Dave was very sick with cancer, and that he was getting very weak and did not believe that he would make it. I remember starting to open my mouth to ask for contact information for him, and couldn't for the lump in my throat! I could not, at that time, let myself cry in front of anyone! I don't think even I realized fully, up to that point, how important that relationship was to me. I could not believe that he would die. I told myself that God was going to heal him and that he would come back to Idaho and then, we would talk. That's not what happened. He did die, and because of my fear, I didn't even know it until about a month after his passing. All I could think was that I never told him how much I loved him. I was still mostly afraid to cry in front of anyone, but after having spent a year in Celebrate Recovery, I thought maybe I could face his illness and asked someone in an email about him....but it was too late. He was gone and there was absolutely nothing I could do about it. No amount of tears, no amount of screaming at God would bring him back. He was gone, and I lost my chance. I remember actually thinking at the time, that it was probably a good thing he didn't know how I was. He would be so disappointed. But after thinking about what I told you all about him last night, I know he wouldn't be disappointed. Well, he might be a little, but mostly he would just love me, and want to do anything he could to help, just like he always did. I never gave myself permission to grieve his passing. I didn't dare let anyone see that I was hurting, so I feel like for the first time, as crazy as that might be almost 5 years after his passing, I am finally grieving this gigantic loss in my life. I miss him terribly!

More Pics Of Our Vacation

This picture to your left is not real good, but during part of our vacation we went to Colville so the kids could see where daddy grew up and this is them in front of the high school that houses so many of Josh's accomplishments as a wrestler. This building was brand new and had just opened up when Josh was a junior and senior in high school. He showed the kids the elementary school's and middle school and junior high he went to as well. Also the old high school building that he started high school in and later went to college in for one quarter as it got turned into a satellite campus for Spokane Falls Community College. After that he transferred to North Idaho College where he met me, and, as they say, the rest is history. And of course, below, is another picture of my oh, so happy little Chloe on the white elephant again.

Chloe On The White Elephant

And this would be my darling little sanguine Chloe. She was more excited about the elephant than anyone! Angela had to think about it a minute before she decided whether or not she wanted to ride the elephant. And just like me, Chloe's glasses are always sliding down her nose. I've mentioned the problems with the little button nose and glasses right? I know some who hate their big noses, but it would be helpful to have a big nose if you have to wear glasses! My nose and Chloe's nose may be cute, but they don't hold our glasses on very well!

The White Elephant

This is my daughter, Angela, on the ancient (I'm pretty sure my grandmother rode this thing when she was a kid) white elephant outside the White Elephant store in Spokane. And yes, you're eyes are not deceiving you. It really is only ten cents still to ride this thing. I'm pretty sure they haven't changed the price since my grandparents were kids either. And actually, for us it was free, because when you make a purchase in the store (we made several), they give each of the kids a dime to ride the white elephant!

If you've never been to the White Elephant, you really must! It is the ultimate toy store! They have everything from big man toys to baby toys and everything in between! Our whole family loves it! Yes, including me, if I can yank my man away from drooling over the guns long enough to show him the things I love or that I think we should get for the kids! The kids were tired before we went here and just wanted to find a hotel so they could sleep. They'd never been to White Elephant before. I promised them that they would be instantly energized the moment they saw what was inside! They weren't too impressed at first (cause all they saw were guns and camping gear: the big man toys)! But then we arrived at the kids section! Oh, my goodness, they were not tired anymore!!!!!! It was hard to get them to stay in one place for 5 seconds! They were dashing from one thing to another, "Oh, mom! Look at this! Mom, look at this!" I found myself being pulled in 3 completely different directions at the same time! (Now mom's the one who's tired :)) It was so much fun. I myself got a giraffe beanie baby. Did I mention that they have great prices, too, or that I love giraffes? The one I really wanted I later saw in a toy store downtown and it was almost as tall as me!!!! I didn't even want to look at the price on that one. I told Jeremiah, "You're going to buy me that one, right?" He looked at me like I'd lost my mind. I pretty much did when I saw that one! Although, I really don't know where I'd put it in this tiny house! It was a blast and everyone got something. Angela got a small set of PlayMobil stuff. Chloe got some toy plastic horses with mats to play with them on and fences and trees, as well. I don't remember what Jeremiah got? Josh got some stuff for camping I believe. It's a fantastic place! If you ever find yourself in Spokane, Washington, look up the White Elephant! It's a must! I vaguely remember going there as a child and loving it! I remember very little of my childhood. My life really is a big blur up until about 5th grade, when I was 12 years old. I have very few clear memories before that and most of what I remember is kind of confusing and mixed up with other things so much that I'm not even entirely sure what happened when.

Radio Flyer

I think this picture to the left is supposed to look like they had just slid down the slide! It's laughable, because looking at it now, it's kind of obvious that they couldn't possibly have all went down that slide at the same time!!! They couldn't go down the slide because it had been really rainy and the slide was soaked. They had to climb up the ladder and then climb back down the ladder. I threatened them within an inch of their lives if they went down that slide! We did not have time to change their clothes before we needed to be leaving for Athol, where our friends that we were visiting live! Okay, now the picture below is the picture of the whole thing, the Radio Flyer! I remember seeing this for the first time as far as I can remember, when I was there on my honeymoon! I was 22 years old, and I thought it was the coolest thing I'd ever seen in my life! It was like I was six years old again, seeing one of my favorite toys blown up so huge!!! And with a slide for the handle! Are you kidding me! You better believe I went down it! I think I did! I remember wanting to! I think there were a bunch of kids there at the time and we decided I really shouldn't join all the little kids on the Radio Flyer. I may have felt six years old, but it was pretty obvious to all of their parents that I wasn't six, you know what I mean? They might have been a little disturbed by that, so I didn't do it, I don't think. But in my mind I did. My six-year-old self was on that slide! Throwing my arms in the air and yelling wheee! The whole thing. I'm smiling to myself, just thinking about it right now. You know what? I just realized something when I wrote about the handle being a slide. They're not pretending that they actually did go down it. They're pretending to pull it with the handle! Now, I remember! I'm sorry, I think I'm just too sanguine to remember much of anything!

More Vacation Pics

To your left is the giant Radio Flyer (that is what they're called, right?) wagon with a slide to go down at River Front Park. You can barely see the kids in this but they are there; all three of them.

Below is the best picture I could find of Chloe on the Carousel. She insisted on riding on one of the inside horses, making it harder to take her picture, little stinker! She's usually so cooperative! Well, most of the time, anyway. Nobody's perfect.

School Fundraiser, Spokane Carousel, And Me Feeling Victory Coming On

This is when we were in Spokane for a day on vacation. This is the really old. antique carousel they have at Riverfront Park in Spokane, Washington. This thing goes really fast, which is why I couldn't get pictures of the kids riding them that weren't blurry. To your left is Jeremiah, of course, and below is Angela. I'm sure in the future I'll be able to put up some pictures of Chloe as well.

To your left, is Angela at a dance the kids did for a school fundraiser. This was the most decent picture I was able to get. Chloe was there, too, but I didn't get any decent pictures of her, that you could even tell who she was:( Have I mentioned how much I adore my children!!!?! They are the greatest joy of my life and the greatest ministry I will ever be given.

I just have to tell you that God is moving in my life in amazing ways. This season of my life is going to be huge!!! I can tell by what He's doing in my counseling and in the new relationship I am just beginning to form. And I know it, because Greater is He who is in me than he who is in the world. (1 John 4:4) I WILL overcome in Christ! I can't tell you more about that right now, because there is so much I'm still working on and I need to do that more privately for now.