Fear

Fear is something that I have noticed that a lot of Christians struggle with. I have struggled with it all of my life. I know that it is something that God does not want us to have. Fear is really just a lack of trust. So, when we are afraid we are really telling God that we don't trust Him to take care of us in whatever it is that we are afraid of. Have you ever noticed how many times God tells people in His Word not to be afraid? I've never actually counted them, but as I read my bible I notice it pops up a lot. He is always telling people not to be afraid.

I have a lot of fears. I fear failure. Fear that if I get a job I will not do well and get fired. Fear that somehow I will spend my money in a way that is not right and will not have the things I need. I even have some hoarding tendencies as a result of fear. I'm afraid that if I get rid of something that is worn out that I won't be able to replace it. That's really why I'm afraid to get rid of it.

Like I said, the bible has a lot to say about this, but this is one of my favorites, that really speaks to me:

There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love."

1 John 4:18

Sick Kids

Chloe's home sick again today. I don't know if I'm ever going to get some time alone to do any writing at this point. It feels like my whole year is going to be filled with sick children. They've been so healthy the last couple of years, I never expected them to suddenly catch everything!

A Busy Weekend and Money Stress

Well, we're home today with colds instead of at church. I think I'm getting a cold. Chloe has a nasty cough that won't go away. I keep giving her medicine, but I don't know how much it's helping. Angela's fine. She wants me to go to the store today and get cereal. I'm out of soda as well, so I might do that later if Chloe is feeling better. Angela also needs new batteries for her keyboard so she can continue practicing. She's not having lessons right now, but I don't want her to lose what she's already learned. It's not because we can't afford it. The lady that was teaching her was teaching her for free, but we took away all extra activities from her, because she's been very disrespectful of me and other adults we've put in charge of her for periods of time, so until she can show some respect all she gets to do is go to school and church. She's not very happy about that, but maybe she'll learn. I am going to have to take her with me to the girls scouts family information night tomorrow, cause Josh is busy working. Chloe wants to be a girl scout, so I'm going to see if I can find a troop that will fit in with our schedule. That may not be so hard if there still is no football. It makes it hard not knowing what's happening with that. I'm beginning to think there isn't going to be any football. I think they're having trouble finding coaches. Josh and Jeremiah went camping with the Boy Scouts this weekend. They'll be coming home today. Josh will probably be mad at me, cause I went to Wal-Mart and got some things. Spent over 50 dollars. He gets real cranky about me spending money. I also took them to McDonald's cause I still needed to go to the Salvation Army after Wal-Mart and the mall and they were hungry. He won't be mad about the mall or Salvation Army, cause he gave me money to spend on myself and his mom gave us some special cards for free stuff at Salvation Army.

The Latah County Fair

Oh, man!! What a weekend. I took the girls to the fair on Saturday and spent 20 dollars in like 5 seconds! Okay, so that's not completely accurate but it seemed like it. If I'd have bought them all the tickets they wanted at the carnival it would have been accurate. They both went on one ride. Angela got to go on one with 2 of her very best friends from school. They had an elephant ear and I had some Nachos. Not the best Nachos I've ever had, but they'll do. There were a ton of them and since I'd already had lunch I felt like I was going to explode! But it would be totally wrong to leave the fair hungry, right! To think that the kids wanted to go on more rides after that! I DON'T THINK SO! I really didn't want to wear their elephant ear anymore than they wanted to be wearing my nachos (Oooooh, pretty colors!). They just didn't know it. Good thing for the wisdom of mom. They saw all kinds of cute animals, held their city slicker noses and said very loudly, and embarrassingly, to this ranch girl, "EW! It stinks in here!" I laughed at them. And that was just the sheep barn! They were real impressed with the swine barn! They also got all kinds of free pens, pencils, crayons, coloring books, and other stuff we'll never have any use for and will be spread all over the house in a week and soon after that in the trash can.

The next day we went to church and then I took Angela to her friend Maggie's house. Then, I drove Jeremiah and Chloe to the fair, since Jeremiah had gone hunting with his dad the day before and hadn't gotten to go. We did basically, the same things, except instead of Elephant Ears and Nachos, we did pretzels and Nachos (I really like Nachos). Also we saw more of the non-animal exhibits. Jeremiah had a few friends who'd entered some things. Plus, Jeremiah almost convinced me to buy a guinea pig. Good thing they were just plain black, so not all that impressive and logic took over. I looked in there and imagined what our large cat, Jewel, would do when she saw the nice rat-looking creature. Bye-Bye guinea pig! See you on the other end when we clean the litter box! Yeah, REALLY expensive cat food! I don't think so.

When Angela came home from Maggie's house, she informed me that she threw up twice at her house and then proceeded to throw up at our house. She'd also fallen asleep watching tv at Maggie's house. Not normal for her. She never takes naps, so I knew despite the fact that she said she was fine, she wasn't. She slept the whole time after she got home after she got done with the porcelain god in the bathroom. She threw up in the night as well. This morning she seemed a lot better, but she got sick after lunch and called me, so I had to go get her. I hope she's better tomorrow. It's school picture day!

Latah County Fair

Aaah, it's Friday. Yes, I'm still going to give you updates. Josh is still home so I can't concentrate to do anything serious. Plus, for some reason I'm just really tired this morning. The fair is this weekend. Well, actually, it's right now, but we can't go until tomorrow since the kids are in school. So, we'll probably go tomorrow afternoon. Jeremiah is going to work at Camp Grizzly with Josh and then doing some Grouse hunting afterwards. Jeremiah has been anxious to get to go hunting ever since he passed his Hunter's Safety Class. He has to choose if he wants to do that or go to the fair with me and the girls. Probably going to be a tough choice for him. Especially since it's probably the only time Josh can take him this year. Josh is pretty busy with his new job right now. He's always going to be real busy in the fall. It's the Boy Scouts busiest season. I'm surprised that didn't influence his decision on whether or not to take this job more than it did.

My Writing

I'm hoping soon to do some much more serious writing here on my blog. I have the time and some peace and quiet now during the day to study and write, so I will be putting some devotional thoughts and what not on here. I'm really looking forward to it and maybe will write something worth sending in to Focus on The Family. I would really love to be a published writer and do this for the rest of my life.

Continuing Sickness In The Paparazzo Home

Ugh! It's hot again. It's supposed to be 91 today. It's 88 right now. Way too hot. I wish I could nap today, but I have to go to a meeting with Angela's teacher this afternoon. Not sure I'd wake up in time. But I might be able to now that Josh is taking Jeremiah to his doctor's appointment. He had to come home sick today. He insisted this morning that he was fine. All 3 kids were home yesterday. Chloe of course stayed home on Monday. Angela came home at noon and when Jeremiah got home from school he was all stuffed up. So, they all stayed home sick yesterday. The only one last night that seemed like he might need to stay home another day was Jeremiah. But this morning he said he felt fine. Of course, I knew he was going to try really hard because tonight is the kick-off pack party for Cub Scouts this year. He really wanted to go. So, I sent them all off to school and went to my 9 am bible study. A few minutes later my cell phone rang. It was Jeremiah telling me that apparently he wasn't fine. So, I had to go get my son and come home. Bummer! I was free for about 5 minutes. Oh, well. The kids are most important. People who keep asking me if they had the swine flu, we'll probably find out today, since Jeremiah already had a doctor's appointment scheduled for today. He'll be there in just a little while. I really don't think they had the H1N1 virus, though. They weren't sick enough for long enough. Only one of them actually had what qualified as a fever. And that was Chloe. And the fever only lasted a couple of days. The other 2 never got fever's at all. Anyway, I will be taking Angela to AWANA's tonight anyway. I'm grateful for Josh taking Jeremiah to the doctor's.