Well, I don't really know what to say, really, except I had to go to the doctor again for my toe and they had to remove some flesh and part of my toenail. I had what they called "proud flesh" which really preaches, doesn't it?! I was thinking, "Well, duh, I have proud flesh, doesn't everybody?! I can promise you they didn't remove all of my proud flesh just the part that had grown over my nail! Apparently, how this happens is when you have an ingrown toenail for a long time, which I have, as the nail is growing into the skin (which is what an ingrown toenail is) the skin kind of says, "Oh, no, you don't!" and pushes back against the nail and actually grows more skin over the top of the toenail. This is how she explained it to me. And, so she said that the skin and the nail are basically fighting for the same territory and nobody's winning! That's why they call it "proud flesh." It wants to stand up and be noticed! And it doesn't want to give up it's territory! So this part of my flesh apparently couldn't be healed by God and had to be removed instead, along with the part of the toenail it had grown over! So, literally the fleshes "pride" cost another as well! I'm telling u this preaches so much! I am definitely going to have to use this someday when teaching from the bible about pride! Wow! We hurt ourselves with pride and others. It can cause both to be taken out!!!! Just like my nail and my flesh! It didn't like being cut out either, let me tell you!! I was in extreme pain late yesterday afternoon and evening and really most of the nite, after the Lidocaine wore off! It was a burning, searing, throbbing, pain! It was awful. It stings a little even now! I need to remove the bandage here right away, to soak it! Considering my doctor told me that it probably wouldn't really hurt until it was exposed to the air, I'm really not looking forward to taking it off!!! And I'm not looking forward to seeing what it looked like. They had a hard time getting it to quit bleeding. I guess normally they don't bleed much, but this one really did! Maybe that's why it hurt so much. I don't know. I took some ibuprofen a little while ago. I'm going to take some more and get ready to soak this toe! Ugh!
Anyway, I think God has been doing a mighty work in my life, although being around people yesterday did make me nervous. I am afraid of criticism. I'm just so tense around people. I'm realizing that about myself more and more! I need some deep healing to trust people again and not assume that they're out to get me. I heard some college boys laughing in the store and assumed that they were laughing at me. They might have been, but not necessarily. I just need to start accepting myself as being okay, so I can believe that people might like me.