Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Me and My Girls Part Three

My last post on "Me and My Girls" was sort of unplanned. I just had to talk about the Barbies. I couldn't stop thinking about them after I found that one Barbie, which I found out wasn't really a "Barbie", it was a "Bratz" doll, and of course, my older daughter, Angela informed me that it still has clothes because she didn't let her little sister take it's clothes off. (Funny, before Chloe played with dolls, I remember naked Barbies.)

Anyway, back to my girls.

The main reason I decided to post about my girls was because when I was in Spokane for LPL with Beth Moore, she commented at one point about her girls nearly killing each other growing up. I tried, in my own mind, to relate, and all I could picture was my girls doing their nails together and fixing each other's hair. I realized that as much as I wanted to relate, I couldn't. Of course, they have their moments of not really liking each other (like the above illustration) but for the most part my girls get along really well. I started thinking about why that is and thought I ought to write about it. What things might contribute to my girls getting along so well.

One of the things is an unfortunate situation in our lives. I suffer from Clinical Depression and when they were little it was all I could do to get out of bed in the morning. Needless to say I wasn't a very fun mom, and many days couldn't even care for them, myself, very well. Neighbors and friends helped out as much as they could and thankfully at that time Josh was able to spend a lot more time at home than he does now. So for the most part they learned to take care of each other. Now, I'm not saying that's a good way to raise your children. I really didn't "raise" them at all and not a day goes by that I don't regret it and wish things had been different for them, and worry about all of the insecurities they now have and will probably see more of in the future as a result. I pray continuously that God will fill in the gaps. However, I think occasionally an older sibling making a younger sibling a sandwich or reading a book to them is not such a bad idea. It could really develop some good relationships between them. Look for opportunities for them to serve each other in small ways. I've noticed that to this day my kids are always there for each other, especially when I can't be. Just last week when my children were at school, my son, Jeremiah, got pushed off of a giant snowball the kids at the charter school had made and hit his head. His head and neck were hurting and he'd thrown up twice after that. He wasn't up to riding the bus home and it was my daughter, Angela, who called me, not him. She had not rolled her eyes at him and headed for the bus line immediately like so many other siblings I've seen and heard about. She was concerned for her big brother's health and called me, so he could sit still and rest. I found out as I talked to her that Chloe was standing right next to her, equally concerned. They are there for each other. They may pick on each other, but if one of them needs help the other two are always right there. They weren't running off with their friends after school, they were checking up on each other, and similar things have happened. Any time something happens at school with one of them, I arrive and the three of them are together. As soon as one of them hears that something happened with one of their siblings, if they're not trapped in class they are immediately looking for their brother and sister. Obviously, Jeremiah does not join in with the hair stuff and the nail polish, but he very much loves his little sisters, even if he won't admit it *wink*.

Another thing is when they were young, and still, we didn't have a lot of money (largely due to my medical bills and the fact that I have never been well enough to work) and so we weren't able to keep them so insanely busy with extracurricular activities that they never see each other. They had to play with each other, cause their aren't a lot of kids in our neighborhood and most of them have piano lessons and sports practices and only God knows what else most of the time! Now, that I am able to drive, at least, and am healthy enough to take them places, we have decided for my sanity and so they can still just be kids sometimes and play with their friends occasionally, to limit their activities. We've decided it isn't really all that good for them to fill in every waking hour of their day with overly organized activities. Sometimes they need to just play. A book I'm reading right now has also confirmed that this is a good idea. Right now, both of my girls are in Girl Scouts and my son is in Boy Scouts. My daughter, Angela, has a very casual relationship with a neighbor lady who teaches piano and she is teaching her piano when they have a chance during the week, but other than that my kids are not involved in any other activities outside of school. And believe me they stay plenty busy with Scouts! If I put them in anything else they wouldn't ever have time to see their friends! I honestly don't know how other parents do it, but I, for one am choosing not to. My son wanted to play football this fall and so did my daughter, Angela (that's a story for another time), but we told them that Scouts would keep them plenty busy this fall and boy, were we right!

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