Monday, April 19, 2010
Wow, it's been gorgeous around here! Even my allergies haven't really been bad enough to shake the fairly good mood I'm in today! Although, I've sneezed a lot and had itchy eyes and stuffy nose quite frequently. I must be getting used to it. I was surprised today when my husband called me in the middle of the day and asked if I'd like to take a walk. What amazes me about this is that after almost 13 years of marriage my husband genuinely wants to be with me. There was nothing pressing he needed to talk to me about. He wasn't just hungry and didn't want to eat alone. It wasn't really a special occasion. He just wanted to be with me for an hour with no kids to bother us. No one else in my family has that kind of relationship. After only a few years of marriage they seem to just fall into a routine. Not Josh and I. We've probably had more trauma than most intact marriages that I know and yet we still like each other. Through all of my cycles in and out of depression, including hospitalization and two trips to the ER due to my suicidal tendencies, constant interruptions at work when I'm in one of my "cycles", he still wants to be with me. We've had constant financial stress. Never able to just go out for coffee without much thought even, and yet we like each other. We don't just love each other. We don't just occasionally need to get in the sack with each other. We really genuinely like each other, if you know what I mean. We seem to have an understanding of each other, despite our quirks, that no one else has of either of us. I don't think either one of us could explain it to anyone if we tried. I guess that's what 13 years of seeking God together, raising children to love God together, and being determined to make our relationship work does for you. I think most people if they choose to really engage with their spouse in these pursuits would probably experience the same thing. I think most people just give up after a while. In our marriage when one (usually me) was about to give up, the other one was still determined to have a strong Christian marriage and wouldn't give up on the other. It's what's saved our marriage countless times and we've come to understand each other at some level that I can't explain. Now, I have not naive enough to think we will continue for the rest of our lives in marital bliss. I know plenty of challenges will come our way in the future, but for now (and I hope forever) I will just hang on to the fact that my husband still likes me!