Tuesday, April 6, 2010
My Struggle With Major Depressive Disorder
It's amazing how quickly moods change. And it's sickening. I hate suffering from Major Depressive Disorder. I seem to never know when something might set me off and when it does I have no control over it. Even sometimes as I'm typing or yelling or doing whatever awful thing I'm doing, I'm telling myself, "Shellie, this is ridiculous, stop!" And yet, even though I am consciously telling myself this I'm still ranting and raving! I don't get it, I know as much as they pretend to, doctors don't get it. Pastors don't even get it. I'm pretty convinced that only God gets it. Thank goodness I have a relationship with Him and know that even when I've screwed up all my relationships, He still loves me. I'm just wondering when He's going to tell me what's going on and what I can do to fix it. What I can feasibly do, not what I could do if I lived somewhere where I could get affordable Godly counseling and many other resources.
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just remember i still will always love you
ReplyDeleteThank you, Candy!
ReplyDeleteI don't have Major depression disorder, but I have suffered with depression, and others have, too. Maybe you should find a message board where you can talk about things with other people who are struggling with the same things you are. The best people you can talk to are the ones who have made it through the same things. Of course, there is the struggle with not letting their depression add to yours, but I think it still could be helpful.
ReplyDeleteLove ya too!
Thanks, Kris!
ReplyDeleteI do have a group I go to where there are several in various stages of suffering from depression, but I tend to forget to call them and decide they won't even like me when I'm in the midst of it. It's crazy, I know. I just need to reach out to those who love me instead of isolating. I just tend to be too afraid of myself and what I might say or do.
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