Friday, September 17, 2010
Me, The Loser
Okay, my last post sucked. And I can't believe I got comments on it so quickly. I'm totally embarassed, but seriously thinking God should remove me from this earth right now, before I can do any more damage. I mean, seriously, what good have I done. I try to be myself and admit to my weaknesses (which I obviously have a lot of!) It just seemed today that I could do nothing right. I feel horribly guilty that my family is so broke and because of my instability emotionally, I don't dare try to get a job, so I can't help financially. All I do is spend money and I apparently don't do a very good job of deciding what we need and don't need. I can't help my kids with their homework. I can't even deal with their emotions. Particularly when they get mad about decisions I make due to time constraints. We just really didn't have much time for baths tonight, so I told Chloe she had to just wash herself and get out. No time for playing and she had a fit! I was already upset because neither of them listened to me when it came to their homework and then whined and cried, because they messed it up. I've already pretty much volunteered to be an Assistant Girl Scout Leader for their troop this year and I know I'm going to totally screw that up. I mean, I can't even help my two girls and I'm going to have a whole bunch of girls! Please! What was I thinking!