Fear

Fear is something that I have noticed that a lot of Christians struggle with. I have struggled with it all of my life. I know that it is something that God does not want us to have. Fear is really just a lack of trust. So, when we are afraid we are really telling God that we don't trust Him to take care of us in whatever it is that we are afraid of. Have you ever noticed how many times God tells people in His Word not to be afraid? I've never actually counted them, but as I read my bible I notice it pops up a lot. He is always telling people not to be afraid.

I have a lot of fears. I fear failure. Fear that if I get a job I will not do well and get fired. Fear that somehow I will spend my money in a way that is not right and will not have the things I need. I even have some hoarding tendencies as a result of fear. I'm afraid that if I get rid of something that is worn out that I won't be able to replace it. That's really why I'm afraid to get rid of it.

Like I said, the bible has a lot to say about this, but this is one of my favorites, that really speaks to me:

There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love."

1 John 4:18

Sick Kids

Chloe's home sick again today. I don't know if I'm ever going to get some time alone to do any writing at this point. It feels like my whole year is going to be filled with sick children. They've been so healthy the last couple of years, I never expected them to suddenly catch everything!

A Busy Weekend and Money Stress

Well, we're home today with colds instead of at church. I think I'm getting a cold. Chloe has a nasty cough that won't go away. I keep giving her medicine, but I don't know how much it's helping. Angela's fine. She wants me to go to the store today and get cereal. I'm out of soda as well, so I might do that later if Chloe is feeling better. Angela also needs new batteries for her keyboard so she can continue practicing. She's not having lessons right now, but I don't want her to lose what she's already learned. It's not because we can't afford it. The lady that was teaching her was teaching her for free, but we took away all extra activities from her, because she's been very disrespectful of me and other adults we've put in charge of her for periods of time, so until she can show some respect all she gets to do is go to school and church. She's not very happy about that, but maybe she'll learn. I am going to have to take her with me to the girls scouts family information night tomorrow, cause Josh is busy working. Chloe wants to be a girl scout, so I'm going to see if I can find a troop that will fit in with our schedule. That may not be so hard if there still is no football. It makes it hard not knowing what's happening with that. I'm beginning to think there isn't going to be any football. I think they're having trouble finding coaches. Josh and Jeremiah went camping with the Boy Scouts this weekend. They'll be coming home today. Josh will probably be mad at me, cause I went to Wal-Mart and got some things. Spent over 50 dollars. He gets real cranky about me spending money. I also took them to McDonald's cause I still needed to go to the Salvation Army after Wal-Mart and the mall and they were hungry. He won't be mad about the mall or Salvation Army, cause he gave me money to spend on myself and his mom gave us some special cards for free stuff at Salvation Army.

The Latah County Fair

Oh, man!! What a weekend. I took the girls to the fair on Saturday and spent 20 dollars in like 5 seconds! Okay, so that's not completely accurate but it seemed like it. If I'd have bought them all the tickets they wanted at the carnival it would have been accurate. They both went on one ride. Angela got to go on one with 2 of her very best friends from school. They had an elephant ear and I had some Nachos. Not the best Nachos I've ever had, but they'll do. There were a ton of them and since I'd already had lunch I felt like I was going to explode! But it would be totally wrong to leave the fair hungry, right! To think that the kids wanted to go on more rides after that! I DON'T THINK SO! I really didn't want to wear their elephant ear anymore than they wanted to be wearing my nachos (Oooooh, pretty colors!). They just didn't know it. Good thing for the wisdom of mom. They saw all kinds of cute animals, held their city slicker noses and said very loudly, and embarrassingly, to this ranch girl, "EW! It stinks in here!" I laughed at them. And that was just the sheep barn! They were real impressed with the swine barn! They also got all kinds of free pens, pencils, crayons, coloring books, and other stuff we'll never have any use for and will be spread all over the house in a week and soon after that in the trash can.

The next day we went to church and then I took Angela to her friend Maggie's house. Then, I drove Jeremiah and Chloe to the fair, since Jeremiah had gone hunting with his dad the day before and hadn't gotten to go. We did basically, the same things, except instead of Elephant Ears and Nachos, we did pretzels and Nachos (I really like Nachos). Also we saw more of the non-animal exhibits. Jeremiah had a few friends who'd entered some things. Plus, Jeremiah almost convinced me to buy a guinea pig. Good thing they were just plain black, so not all that impressive and logic took over. I looked in there and imagined what our large cat, Jewel, would do when she saw the nice rat-looking creature. Bye-Bye guinea pig! See you on the other end when we clean the litter box! Yeah, REALLY expensive cat food! I don't think so.

When Angela came home from Maggie's house, she informed me that she threw up twice at her house and then proceeded to throw up at our house. She'd also fallen asleep watching tv at Maggie's house. Not normal for her. She never takes naps, so I knew despite the fact that she said she was fine, she wasn't. She slept the whole time after she got home after she got done with the porcelain god in the bathroom. She threw up in the night as well. This morning she seemed a lot better, but she got sick after lunch and called me, so I had to go get her. I hope she's better tomorrow. It's school picture day!

Latah County Fair

Aaah, it's Friday. Yes, I'm still going to give you updates. Josh is still home so I can't concentrate to do anything serious. Plus, for some reason I'm just really tired this morning. The fair is this weekend. Well, actually, it's right now, but we can't go until tomorrow since the kids are in school. So, we'll probably go tomorrow afternoon. Jeremiah is going to work at Camp Grizzly with Josh and then doing some Grouse hunting afterwards. Jeremiah has been anxious to get to go hunting ever since he passed his Hunter's Safety Class. He has to choose if he wants to do that or go to the fair with me and the girls. Probably going to be a tough choice for him. Especially since it's probably the only time Josh can take him this year. Josh is pretty busy with his new job right now. He's always going to be real busy in the fall. It's the Boy Scouts busiest season. I'm surprised that didn't influence his decision on whether or not to take this job more than it did.

My Writing

I'm hoping soon to do some much more serious writing here on my blog. I have the time and some peace and quiet now during the day to study and write, so I will be putting some devotional thoughts and what not on here. I'm really looking forward to it and maybe will write something worth sending in to Focus on The Family. I would really love to be a published writer and do this for the rest of my life.

Continuing Sickness In The Paparazzo Home

Ugh! It's hot again. It's supposed to be 91 today. It's 88 right now. Way too hot. I wish I could nap today, but I have to go to a meeting with Angela's teacher this afternoon. Not sure I'd wake up in time. But I might be able to now that Josh is taking Jeremiah to his doctor's appointment. He had to come home sick today. He insisted this morning that he was fine. All 3 kids were home yesterday. Chloe of course stayed home on Monday. Angela came home at noon and when Jeremiah got home from school he was all stuffed up. So, they all stayed home sick yesterday. The only one last night that seemed like he might need to stay home another day was Jeremiah. But this morning he said he felt fine. Of course, I knew he was going to try really hard because tonight is the kick-off pack party for Cub Scouts this year. He really wanted to go. So, I sent them all off to school and went to my 9 am bible study. A few minutes later my cell phone rang. It was Jeremiah telling me that apparently he wasn't fine. So, I had to go get my son and come home. Bummer! I was free for about 5 minutes. Oh, well. The kids are most important. People who keep asking me if they had the swine flu, we'll probably find out today, since Jeremiah already had a doctor's appointment scheduled for today. He'll be there in just a little while. I really don't think they had the H1N1 virus, though. They weren't sick enough for long enough. Only one of them actually had what qualified as a fever. And that was Chloe. And the fever only lasted a couple of days. The other 2 never got fever's at all. Anyway, I will be taking Angela to AWANA's tonight anyway. I'm grateful for Josh taking Jeremiah to the doctor's.

I'm Square

Well, I guess I'm square! I woke up Sunday morning with a coughing feverish child next to me. That would be Chloe. So, I had to stay home all day with her. No church and no block party. She's not much better today. The fever's down but she's still stuffy and headachey. She should be able to get some more rest today with Jeremiah and Angela at school all day.

Nuart Block Party 2009

Well, the Nuart Block Party is tomorrow. Good friends, good fellowship, good music! It should be a blast!

2 p.m. in Moscow, main street in front of the Nuart theatre. Be there or be square!

Too Hot For September!

Is anybody else done with summer? I am so done with summer. I hate the warmer temperatures. Over 90 degrees is not okay with me. I was being nice putting up with the 80's, but once September hits, I expect it to be below ninety. This is not okay with me.

Gym Shoes

We still haven't got the kids gym shoes and they're going over to the gym today. I told Jeremiah and Angela that they'd just have to go in their socks. Angela couldn't find her socks as usual, so I washed her gym shoes from last year. They're a little small, but she says she can wear them, so I washed and dried them this morning and then took them to her at school. It was really tempting to go shopping again today, but I resisted the urge and came home. The fact that I hadn't eaten lunch and was hungry helped.

Very Random Thoughts

Well, I got out of the house today and bought some construction paper for the girls projects that they always like to do at home. Josh also went to the store and got computer paper and a couple of sketch pads for the kids. Oh, well. So we won't need to get any more paper for a while! Last week when the kids brought home our new kitten, Tuna, we were out of cat food and Josh and I both went to the store. I had to get the kids school supplies anyway, so I went ahead and bought some cat food while I was at Wal-Mart. I came home and Josh was pooring some cat food he had just bought into their bowl. Things are going well with the cat. I haven't been able to find the free clinic to get him nutured, but hopefully Josh will help with that soon. I'm not very good at driving and looking for a place I'm not familiar with at the same time. I'm not even very good at just driving! I have only had my driver's license for about 11 months and I'm a slow learner anyway! Jeremiah will be starting football soon. He's all registered and games are supposed to start mid-september. Next Wednesday I will be starting my Navigators' study at BBF and the kids will start AWANA's again. I haven't decided yet if I should make Chloe go or not. She really doesn't want to. She has a hard time memorizing the verses and she has a hard time understanding the games well enough to play them, so she hates those. And since she hates it we have to fight with her to get her to go every week! I'm just not sure it's worth it. If anyone has any advice on this I could sure use some. She has ADD, so that's a big part of it, I think. She's not severe enough to need medications, but she definitely has a hard time focusing and I'm not very patient with her. Or maybe I'm just being hard on myself, cause I think I should know how to help her. Her school is great. They adjust really well to her learning style and do whatever she needs to do to learn. I love it! I couldn't find a better school for her if I could afford private school I don't think. In fact, if I won the lottery(kind of difficult since I don't buy tickets, I hear)I think I'd still send her exactly where she's at right now. Anyway, that's what's happening here. Oh, and she is only seven years old. It's not like she needs a whole lot of extra activities quite yet. I'm just worried about Angela thinking she can get out of it, just because she wants to hang out with her friends all the time, and not do anything responsible, because her sister doesn't have to go. Anyway, let me know what you think.

Sickness

Well, I was sick today, so didn't get anything done today that I needed to get done. I was going to go to the store and get some stuff I've been needing and go to the free spaying and nuturing clinic to see if I can get Tuna taken care of. Not to mention, I was just wanting to get out of the house. Something I haven't done since church on Sunday. Maybe not such a big deal for some, but a very big deal for me. I sure hope the kids stay healthy. I'm hoping for perfect attendance this year. Also no other health issues, like asthma complications. I sure don't want to do that again this year. We're going to be paying for those ER bills for a while! Besides, it's very stressful not knowing when your child might suddenly decide to stop breathing. Anyway, hopefully, I'll be able to sleep better and feel better in the morning. My nose got really runny last night and I woke up. Couldn't sleep much after that. I was hoping it was just allergies, but I was wrong. Anyway, hopefully I'll heal quickly and be able to get some stuff done tomorrow. I've taken some vitamins and garlic pills. I'll continue doing that tomorrow. I really should do that regularly. Well, the vitamins anyway, not the garlic pills.

Tuna

With everything else going on I haven't had a chance to mention the stray cat my kids brought home last Tuesday. He's a Tomcat, so if he's going to stay he has to get nutured. He's a kitten, so he hasn't developped any Tomcat habits I don't think. So if we take care of it soon hopefully he'll be a nice cat. However, if Chloe continues to have wheezing problems like she did last night we'll probably have to get rid of him. Angela named him Tuna. She saw a cat on Animal Planet named Tuna and thought that was cool. Plus when she brought him home we didn't have any cat food, so I opened up a can of tuna fish and he downed it in like seconds. I've never seen anything eat so fast in my life. He had no meat on his bones. Even just after a week he's got some substance to him. He's a funny creature. I've decided he'll eat anything. He ate green beans the other day and eggs the next morning. I think he has some dog in him! Well, I guess I'll have a little help around here cleaning up the mess after the meal. I won't have to clean under the table as much!! Or I should say the kids won't. Any more I make them do it most of the time. Today, we're going out to Josh's Mom's house to see his Aunt Judy and cousin Barb one more time before they head back to Texas this week. The kids have school and Josh has work after today, so it's our last chance.

Chloe's Birthday

well, the weather stayed nice yesterday long enough for us to have Chloe's party. Well, non-rainy anyway through all the main stuff. The Pizza, cake and ice cream, and presents. And they got to spend a little time in the pool before we got a few sprinkles. It never really rained until early the next morning. It could have been a little warmer, but it was still fun. Everybody who got in the pool froze, but oh, well. They all wanted to swim anyway, of course. You know kids. Nothing fazes them. My mom came up and brought my nephew with her. He'd never been to our pool here in Moscow. He had a great time and was he and mom were the last one's to leave the pool. Mom told us to go ahead and she'd meet us at the house. We had some cake and ice cream and also lots of presents to take home. Besides Chloe was real anxious to play with her new things and we didn't really want her to start getting things out at the pool. She got lots of small, crafty kind of things that would be hard to keep track of. Another treat was Josh's Aunt Judy and cousin, Barb were up visiting from Texas and were able to come to the party with Josh's mom of course. And several of Chloe's classmates came. It was loads of fun.

Learning Math

Well, I guess I'm going to have to learn how to play Suduku. My daughter has to play it for homework. I think I better just start getting math books for their grade levels and above so I can help them with their homework. I have no clue how to do 3rd grade or 5th grade math! Isn't that sad? If I recall I wasn't very good at it when I was a 3rd grader or a 5th grader, so we'll see if I can learn it this time around!

Continuing the first week of school

well, the kids will be home from their second day of school soon. Any minute they'll be walking through the door right behind me. Chloe was so excited yesterday. I went to give invitations to her class yesterday afternoon and she was so excited. Yes, we did schedule a pool party for her. Hopefully the weather will cooperate and everyone will have a good time. I don't want it to be too warm though, cause I want fewer people at the pool at that time. Just warm enough for the pool to be open, since there is no place else for her to have her big party! She invited her whole class and most of them came last year, so I'm anticipating a lot of kids! Angela also had a great day and has decided she really likes the new teacher. Jeremiah didn't have such a good day. The new kid that he thought he might get to be friends with started hanging out with the bullies, which is sort of most of his class right now. He's a really sweet kid and while I like him that way, apparently at his age it is really uncool to be sweet and sensitive to other people. It's cool to pick on people and I raised him better than that and personally I think in the long run he'll be the better for it, but right now it's really tough for him. And he just got home and told me that he needs a thumb drive, whatever that is. He's calling his dad to ask him about it. I guess Josh is going to let Jeremiah use his. I didn't even know he had one, obviously, cause I didn't even know what it was. See I'm really not as computer savvy as I pretend to be. Anyway, I have to get off of here so Jeremiah can do his homework. Ugh! I really need to either get our computer fixed or get another computer, so I don't have to let him use my laptop.

First Day Of School 2009-2010

Well, I sent the kids to school for the first time this morning, for the first time this year. Chloe went to Mr. Cole's first grade. He's her "best buddy" she tells me. He's a great teacher. My other kids all pretty much felt the same way about him. He makes each child really feel like they're his favorite. Yes, this is my third round with him and I'd do it again if I had to. He's great!!! Never had any problems with him. Angela's in Mr. Tousely's third grade class. He's new. I just met him for the first time last night and my first impression is I really liked him and usually my first impressions are correct. Not always, but usually. I really liked the letter he sent earlier also. We'll see how he does with my most stubborn child who thinks she's the center of the universe. He's sort of got a class full of those. All the girls in that class are drama queens who expect to be the center of attention all the time. Talk about a tough way to introduce him to the charter school! They can be a lot of fun, but boy do they take every ounce of energy out of you. I've worked with them before volunteering at the school. They are quite a handful! Jeremiah is in Mrs. Knott's 5th grade. She's a great teacher, too. He's actually had her before. She was his third grade teacher. Actually, the way it's worked out he's been in the same classrom the 2 years before this as well. He had a different teacher last year, but the teachers keep changing classrooms and it's worked out with the teachers that he's ended up in the same classroom for three years in a row. He thinks it's cool. I would think it was boring. He wanted to get Mrs. Knott because he knew she had moved back into that classroom. He helped her move on the last day of school last year. Anyway, that's all for now.

Chloe's Birthday Update

Josh is talking about not having a party for Chloe. I don't think that'll make her very happy. She's been counting on having a pool party like last year. I said we'd do it eventually cause I thought that was Josh's intention, but I may have to take it back. I hope she isn't too disappointed. Of course, we still might do something. She really wants a party with her friends.