Friday, November 6, 2009

My Not So Good Day

Ugh! My day went from bad to worse. The kids continued to make me want to, as Beth Moore, would say, "snatch them baldheaded." They destroyed my bedroom during a pillow fight. I'm still trying to find some of my books that got knocked all over the room. One in particular that's very important. It's for the step study that I'm c0-leading. It would be really bad if one of their fearless (can you say denial?) leaders showed up on Monday without their book. Yes, I frequently speak about myself in the third person. Get used to it. Anyway, they moved their rough housing into the kitchen after that and knocked down some dishes. At that point I sent them all into their rooms to CHILL OUT! (Can you believe they actually asked me later if they could have some coffee?!) I then let the two oldest go to TJ's Books, a used book store not far from our house. They love to go there and see what books they have that they might like and report back to me what they found. That's when I discovered the missing books. I called them on the cell phone I always send them with and ordered them home. I screamed at them on the phone. I'm sure they couldn't understand a word I said, really. At that point I had a headache, from going all day without soda. Then, Josh called and I told him what happened. He came home and gave them all daddy spankings. Those are much worse than mommy spankings just so you know. Then, they were ordered to clean the house, including doing dishes. They proceeded to do so. Later I got a phone call from my friend with the Kangen water. This was a good thing really. She told me that if I wasn't going to use the water could she buy back her containers that she had sold me. I told her I still wanted to try the water, I just couldn't until I got off the soda. She then, told me that she would try to help me with that. In fact, she told me that some people she knew who were on the water told her that after they'd drank the water for a while soda didn't taste as good to them anymore, so it helped them quit. Soda had never been an issue for her, so she'd had to ask some other people about it. So, she told me that she'd be at her house at a certain time that evening and if I could meet her there and bring my empty jugs, she could refill them for me. So, I got the directions to her house, got ready to go and headed out. She lives in an area I've never driven to before (been there but never driven there) and I'd never been to her house, obviously. I got lost, and couldn't find it, so I came back home. Called my husband and yelled at him, as if it's his fault, right. But I wanted him to help me and he was working as usual. He got her phone number from me and called her himself and set up a time to get the water tomorrow. So, we're getting it tomorrow. We fought more about his job and everything else. I'm just really cranky I guess, and I was feeling bad about pressuring him to take care of it for me. It seems my usual reaction to negative feelings these days is to get angry. When I couldn't find my friend's house, I yelled at the kids, blaming them for me not being able to find her house. If they hadn't been talking to me, asking me questions, wanting the radio turned up, etc. Ridiculous, I know. Those things didn't help, but I probably wouldn't have been able to find it anyway. It didn't help that other drivers were honking at me cause I was driving so slow, trying to find this place. Remember that the next time you're behind a slow driver, or one that seems confused. Maybe they are confused! Anyway, I eventually decided to go to Celebrate Recovery, which I'd previously decided not to do because of the kids behavior, but I'm glad I did. Everyone there is loving and accepting and it felt good just to be there with them.

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