Sunday, August 22, 2010

My Thoughts After Pastor Kim's sermon on Isaiah 40

The Paparazzo's went to church today, where our pastor, Kim Kirkland, delivered an incredible message, that this child of God desperately needed. I've heard people tell me they fall asleep when Pastor Kim is preaching. To be honest with you, I don't understand how. Maybe it's just because I am at a phase of my life where I am so aware of my need for God's Word and others aren't or what, but I am practically on the edge of my seat from beginning to end, taking notes maddeningly. Sometimes writing things down that he didn't even say exactly, but I know that I really needed! It came directly from God to me. He spoke on Isaiah 40 and talked about how He is in control even in difficult circumstances when things seem to be horrible. His purposes will come to fruition even when it looks like what He's doing or allowing to happen is destroying any hope of what He promised! I don't know about you, but I need to be reminded of that. I am horrible about cruppling when things get hard, thinking that God is quitting on me, or worse, punishing me and destroying me! I know that, according to God's Word, that is absolutely NEVER TRUE, but somehow my heart can't seem to catch up. It makes me a very poor witness of God's love and afraid to stand out, cause I want to please people more than I want to please God, and it makes me sick to my stomach to even type that. I want to want to serve God no matter what others think and I am begging God for that. I listened to Beth Moore's "Get Out Of That Pit" on CD this summer and I am praying through the prayers at the end of that book every day, cause oh, boy, do I need to be delivered from a desire to please my parents so they don't hate me and anyone else in my life, worse than anything. And I need delivered from the fear that I truly am worthless and couldn't hold down a job outside the home no matter how much I may need to or want to.

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